‘We need people to die’:
funeral businesses worry about slowdown in deaths
Australian’s funeral businesses are facing a difficult truth: not enough people are dying
^That’s the lead of a news story from a couple yesteryears back.
It’s kind of morbid. But strangely funny.
(A dark sense of whimsy is healthy sometimes. Freud said so.)
But the gist of that story, my friend, is this:
Death is seasonal.
Some flu seasons are worse than others.
But if you’re in the funeral business…
And it hurts your wallet when people don’t kick the bucket enough…
It’ll delight you to know that:
“In the longer-term, the trend for death remains positive.”
This makes sense.
Lemme dead-splain it to you:
Humanity’s death rate’s been a perfect 100% so far.
Heck even Jesus died.
He just happened to get up again afterwards.
So if dead people fuel your business…
If you don’t get them now, you’ll get your chance later.
(More healthy dark whimsy for ya.)
This is perfect inspiration for your next email campaign.
Depending on your list…
Some would-be customers are NOT ready for your offer…
You’ve met them at the wrong moment of their life.
But if you keep in touch…
Send them emails to keep yourself alive in their mind…
One day… when their resistance to your offer suddenly croaks…
They will buy what they need from you.
Adding commas to your bank account.
The key word here is PATIENCE.
(The other key words are ‘consistent and engaging follow-up’.)
Bake that into your next marketing brownie.
See whether your sales spike this year.
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