Today is Day 9 of the ’30 Ways To Play With Your Imposter Syndrome’ Challenge.
To be honest, I’m scared of sounding repetitive in this challenge now.
And I’m barely a third of the way through.
Hopefully I can find fresher angles in upcoming days.
And turn this fear around.
(And feel like less of a fraud for trying this.)
Is your backup version your imposter?
What you never knew about Elf
“The script for Elf was shopped around Hollywood for a decade before it got made. When talks began in the ’90s, Jim Carrey was one of the biggest comedy stars on the planet, and seemed the perfect choice to play Buddy.
But he was all Christmas-ed out. By the early noughties when producers were finally locking in the cast, Carrey had already starred in A Christmas Carol and The Grinch That Stole Christmas, so he turned down Elf.
Of course, it meant the lead role went to Will Ferrell — and he nailed it.”
“Elf’s other lead actor, Zooey Deschanel — a relative newcomer at the time — was also not the producers’ first choice.
Buddy’s love interest, Jovie, was originally supposed to be played by someone else, who pulled out at the last minute.
“I went in as a backup,” Deschanel has said of her audition.”
“It was a lucky break for Deschanel, who hadn’t landed a major part until then…”
Imagine the perfect version of yourself.
The version of yourself you’d pick whenever you need to get something done.
Now imagine that person is unavailable.
Which version of yourself is the backup?
What are they like?
Now, this version of yourself isn’t your first choice, but still seems to get things done.
You might wish the backup version was more like the perfect version.
But the backup still seems to do well.
Chances are, you feel the backup is the imposter.
Filling in for the perfect (but absent) version of yourself.
While you wait for, or wish, the perfect version of yourself could show up.
But… who IS the perfect versions of themselves all the time?
I’m sure even Gandhi, Mother Teresa, and the Dalai Lama have all had bad days.
And chances are… those bad days were still pretty good.
But like in today’s news story…
Maybe the backup is pretty competent after all.
Sometimes the backup choice is just as good as the first choice.
And sometimes… the backup is even better.
(A great bonus when that happens!)
Sometimes when I’m performing, or learning music… I wish I was better.
In fact, today I made two somewhat significant mistakes while performing at the piano.
While supporting a violin player.
(And let me tell you, the soloist does NOT need their piano accompanist making mistakes. Not with this particular Brahms Violin Sonata.)
It still went pretty well overall…
… but I don’t like that I made those mistakes.
It made me wish I was better at piano. And music in general.
But if I accept the imperfect version of myself as the backup option…
Then I think my backup did okay.
If I’m lucky, sometimes the perfect version of myself might show up.
But while I wait, I’ll keep working on improving that backup option.
(The so-called ‘imposter’ version.)
If I’m to be an imposter, I’d like my imposter self to still be somewhat competent.
And, in the meantime, I’ll be glad I have a backup option at all.
I hope you find your backup/imposter selves just as reliable.
They won’t always be your first choice.
But hopefully you still find them mostly reliable.
And like me, maybe you can even feel grateful for them sometimes.
That they are there at all.
I’ve said ‘backup’ too many times now.
It’s beginning to lose its meaning to me.
But I’ll leave things there.
Lucus “backup backup backup” Allerton
Screenshot proof below:
(You’ll only see it if you have images enabled.)
Taken 2018-11-09 at 1.46.34 am