Day 24 of the ‘30 Ways To Play With Your Imposter Syndrome’ Challenge.
How you endure despite your flaws is what defines you.
“The Leaning Tower of Pisa isn’t leaning so much anymore.
Experts have revealed the tower has lost 4cm of its tilt and is not in immediate danger of falling over anymore, after more than two decades of restorations due to safety fears, The Sun reports.”
“The 800-year old tower was closed to the public for ten years in the 90s as part of a $A39 million restoration project to halt the tilt.”
“Since it was built it has survived four major earthquakes and experts say its tilt is now just under four degrees and it is off centre four metres from vertical.
Giuseppe Bentivoglio, from the Opera Primaziale organisation that preserves the tower said: ‘It was on the verge of collapse, but we managed to stop the tilt and secure it.”
800 years is a long time to lean over.
I looked it up. It’s been leaning since it’s construction. The ground was too soft on one side.
I find that relatable.
Because I don’t feel like I started music with a particularly solid foundation.
I think this flared up my imposter syndrome sometimes.
In the two decades or so I’ve learnt music, my musical ear wasn’t that great for the first 18 years or so.
Specifically with harmony and melodies.
Some people can pluck harmonies and melodies out of the air when they listen to the music.
They can hear it, and immediately play it on the piano.
Good ol’ imposter syndrome would show up heavily when I was around musicians who could do things I couldn’t.
When I knew musicians like that… I didn’t feel like much of a musician myself.
I mean, the whole point of music of sound isn’t it? And I was better at making it than analysing it by ear.
On the piano, I could read and analyse sheet music quite well, and use it to follow what I heard.
But to decode by ear without sight?
I’ll skip the long story, but after putting myself through some musical hell months… I had a sudden epiphany.
One that made my musician’s ear jump in skill.
And it’s been growing ever since.
Still, even without that solid foundation, I did pretty well in the meantime.
Just like the Tower of Pisa, I kept standing over the years. I got good at other musical skills.
Enough to last and keep going.
And earn a pretty decent living.
As a nineties child, I really relate to the corrective work done on the Tower of Pisa during that time.
I stayed standing long enough to be able to work on my weak foundations.
And the better my musical ear gets, the more competent I feel.
I feel more like a real musician, rather than a pretend one.
The moral of this story?
If you seem to be doing well…
… even without certain advantages or foundations other successful people might have…
… that doesn’t make you a fraud.
(Though if you’re like me, you might still feel like one.)
Especially when other people assume you have certain skills you don’t.
Like being able to expertly decode music by ear.
Or sing a melody without using an instrument to play it.
But even without those foundations other people take for granted…
… if you’re still standing, and haven’t fallen over…
… that’s a success in itself.
NOT proof of fraudsterdom.
After all, staying up for 800 years ain’t bad for a tower always tipping over.
*I’m* impressed at least.
Heck, if you continue long enough, you can probably do something about those foundations if you have to.
Just like the work done on the Tower of Pisa.
And just like my own ear skills.
Are you missing a foundation that other successful people seem to have?
And yet you seem to be doing well?
That doesn’t make you a fraud.
That makes your successes even more amazing.
And if you keep going as you are…
… perhaps you’ll be able to stay upright indefinitely.
Maybe you’ll even improve your foundations along the way, to greater strengths.
And finally feel secure and stable in your identity.
Lucus “Never tip me over. Never pour me out.” Allerton
Screenshot proof below:
(You’ll see it only if you have images enabled.)
Taken 2018-11-24 at 7.11.28 am