Day 23 of the ‘30 Ways To Play With Your Imposter Syndrome’ Challenge.
Another email with ‘bloat’ in the title.
Is that too repetitive of me?
Have I bloated my use of that word?
How to make it impossible to be a fraud.
Tiff Hall’s honest photo of stomach
“Fitness star and former The Biggest Loser trainer Tiffiny Hall is famous for her rock-hard abs and we’re used to seeing amazing photos of her fit body on Instagram. But this time she’s shared something a little different.
‘I almost didn’t post this, but trainers have bad days too and it’s important to share the highs and the lows with you,’ Hall wrote on Instagram today, alongside a photo of her bloated stomach.”
“Hall, who is married to comedian Ed Kavalee, gave birth to her son Arnold late last year and has been open about her difficult pregnancy.
‘I put on 30kg, I was sick the whole time right up until my last contraction and all I wanted was sausage rolls,’ Hall told news.com.au in January.
‘My pregnancy didn’t go to plan, but it delivered me a healthy baby. I just embraced it and was proud of what my body achieved,’ Hall said.
She was constantly sick and unable to train, so she lost most of her fitness.
‘I couldn’t do a full squat. I had to use the couch. The fact that I couldn’t do a push up…It’s so strange. My body collapsed because my core was so weak,’ Hall said.
‘I’ve had to start on the lowest fitness level. I have a long way to go. My goal is to get up to five push ups on my knees. I’ve had to really work hard and it’s given me a greater appreciation for others who start from scratch with no strength.”
No one can accuse Tiffiny of being a fraud.
Tiffiny shares plenty of pictures where she looks amazingly fit.
But she doesn’t just share her highs, she shares her lows too.
The great thing is… the ‘lows’ DON’T drag the ‘highs’ down.
If anything, they make the ‘highs’ even better!
People are inspired seeing the struggles even successful people go through.
And when successful people share their shortcomings and struggles… it’s impossible for them to be a fraud.
If your imposter syndrome makes you fear other people’s high opinions of you …
… that you don’t deserve your accomplishments…
… that they will discover you’re a fraud…
… that you will be EXPOSED…
… then what if you exposed yourself first?
(But not in that way. Behave)
By that I mean…
Let’s say you share your multiple sides, such as your successes, failures, accomplishments, shortcomings, fears and confidence...
When someone sees all these sides of you…
… is it even possible for there to be anything left to ‘expose’?
Sometimes people who look up to you are FULLY INFORMED of your high AND lows…
… and they STILL consider you a success.
There’s no way you’ve fooled them.
Even if YOU don’t feel you are amazing or special…
… none of that means you are a fraud.
Not if you’ve been upfront and honest.
A few weeks ago someone asked me to conduct a string quartet rehearsal.
I have never conducted string players before.
I said I didn’t know much about how to play strings.
And the players were free to correct me or educate me if I requested something dumb from them.
But in the meantime I could listen to the sounds they made. And then hopefully give some helpful feedback.
I decided to be confident and ignorant. With complete transparency.
I wasn’t shy about my ignorance. Nor did I apologise for it endlessly.
I was upfront and matter-of-fact.
And you know what? That made me feel CONFIDENT.
I didn’t feel like I would be exposed as a fraud.
Maybe they would see me as incompetent, ignorant, or an idiot.
But not a fraud.
With that fear gone, it left me free to confidently work on what I DID know.
The players responded well to me.
They humoured my requests, and tried to bring out the best in what I said.
Their sound really improved by the end, and they told me I was helpful.
Do the people who think highly of you…
… know both your ups AND downs?
If so, there’s no way you’re a fraud.
And if these people have given you jobs, promotions, and good word-of-mouth, because they think well of you…
… then chances are it’s because you DESERVE these things.
NOT because you have them fooled somehow.
So keep listening to that fully informed praise.
Because you’re not fooling anyone buddy.
Lucus “See-saws aren’t frauds either. You see all their ups and downs too.” Allerton
Screenshot proof below:
(You’ll see it only if you have images enabled.)
Taken 2018-11-22 at 5.12.32 pm