Day 22 of the ‘30 Ways To Play With Your Imposter Syndrome’ Challenge.
It’s okay to have your imposter syndrome as a friend. Just make sure it’s not your only one.
Aussies love this ‘badass’ lawyer
“Social media loses it over banking royal commission ‘warrior woman’ Rowena Orr”
“For months, she’s calmly torn strips off our banking elite as they squirmed under her relentless grilling during the royal commission.
And now, Rowena Orr QC is fast becoming Australia’s latest cult hero — and a rising social media star.
Today, Ms Orr was particularly ruthless as she hit CBA chair Catherine Livingstone with question after question over CommBank’s ongoing misconduct — at times scoffing at her response, and at others staring her down and demanding proper answers.”
“Her interrogation was so tough Ms Livingstone often stumbled over her words and sounded clearly uncomfortable in the hot seat as she was asked about a range of questionable behaviour, including executive bonuses and pay and incomplete record-keeping.
Ms Orr’s performance has been both entertaining and awe-inspiring to watch — and it seems countless Aussies agree.”
“Twitter has been flooded with posts praising the legal whiz-kid for her poise, her dogged line of questioning and her brutal smackdowns.”
“Others have variously described her as ‘brilliant’, ‘impressive’ and a fearless, ‘badass’ ‘warrior woman’.”
“…the woman so tough she’s been given the nickname Rowena ‘Shock And Orr”
Isn’t it great to know someone like Rowena Orr?
Someone who cuts through garbage, and sees hows things really are?
Someone who fights to find out the truth, to uncover things you should know about?
You so often see high-powered groups get away with bad behaviour.
In a world like that, it’s so refreshing to see someone stand up to them, and nail them to accountability.
Sure, people like that can be a bit full-on and scary at times.
But wouldn’t it be great to have a friend like that… who cuts through all the BS for you?
Imposter syndrome can feel like that friend.
It cross-examines your achievements, and tears them apart.
Imposter syndrome doesn’t want you to be a fraud.
You trust it, because you see it as a friend that keeps you down to the size you REALLY are.
It will expose your shortcomings to yourself before everyone else.
It doesn’t want you to be like the above bankers. It doesn’t want you to get carried away with undeserved bonuses, and dodgy records.
But imagine if imposter syndrome was the only friend you had.
A friend that was critical and interrogative of everything you did.
You know they mean well… but it gets exhausting after a while.
Most people would want a break.
And spend time with a different friend for a while.
But taking a break is much harder when that ‘friend’ is inside your head.
When their voice doesn’t stop, even when you want them to leave you alone.
I know this from personal experience.
With real-life friends, you can spend time with someone else to see the difference on your mood.
But changing the personality of the voice inside your head? That’s much harder.
Changing my internal dialogue from constant interrogation to healthy support…
… is NOT as easy as swiping right on a smart phone.
So I tried something different… I tried to get better at complimenting others.
Some people are amazing at this skill.
I envy them.
Think about those people that leave you feeling great about yourself.
Chances are they are very skilled at compliments.
But what truly makes complimenting a skill rather than empty words…
… is to make them both true and meaningful.
You have to get better at recognising the good in what people say and do…
… how that represents good character, good motivations…
… and how it might even help out others in some way…
… and then recognise those achievements to that person…
… by telling them out loud, or writing to them.
I’ve still got a long way to go on that skill myself. I grew up a pessimist.
But I realise now that practising that viewpoint made me better at seeing the bigger picture.
And in that bigger picture, I’m better able to appreciate the wonderful value of others.
As that way of thinking settles into my brain, I’ve found my own imposter syndrome now has company.
I now have at least TWO viewpoints who are both great friends for different times.
One is endlessly deconstructing and analysing my achievements, and identifying ways I could be better.
The other recognises the good things I HAVE done. And the good things I CAN do.
And as I get to know these friends more, the better I switch to which friend I need.
(And unlike real-life friends sometimes, you can switch between them completely guilt-free!)
Maybe you’re already one of the skilled complimenters, or maybe you’re just starting out.
Or, like most people, you’re somewhere in-between.
It doesn’t matter what your skill level is.
Just keep nurturing that viewpoint. The viewpoint that spots the good in other people.
And just like some of the most critical people are most critical of themselves…
… you might be able to turn some compliments on yourself too.
Lucus “Does this make imposter syndrome my imaginary friend?” Allerton
Screenshot proof below:
(You’ll see it only if you have images enabled.)
Taken 2018-11-22 at 1.14.05 am